A YEAR IN (SKEWED) REVIEW
If you spend any amount of time on social media around this time of year, you’ll likely see posts about celebrating the fact that we’ve made it through another year of utter catastrophe. Maybe it’s because I’m dipping my toe into being middle-aged, or maybe it really has been a cultural mindset shift since 2020. Either way, I’m noticing it, and I’m sure you are too.
I woke up this morning with a realization: every year can’t possibly be “the worst.” It’s just not logically possible. I’ve been tempted to believe that in some ways, this year was as grueling and devastating as last year, but it just isn’t true. A lot of difficult things have happened this year:
- MY PMDD has been really brutal a few times this year.
- We had to take our 3 year old to the ER & have him admitted to the hospital 3 times in a period of about 8 weeks this fall.
- The first hospital admittance was while my husband and I were overseas, beginning our anniversary trip to Ireland, and we had to scrap the trip and rush home to be with him, not knowing what was causing his condition, only knowing he was declining.
- We’ve personally had more financial strain this year than we have had in a long time (partially due to the above mentioned hospital stays and abandoned vacation).
- We even had a couple of seasons in our marriage that were confusing to navigate and felt like we wouldn’t find our way through.
This year was rough, but when I compare it to last year…it pales… The loss and grief that we experienced last year WAS the worst of my life thus far, and if I say that this year was just as bad, I’m allowing myself to be misguided by this crisis culture that surrounds me.
I can allow myself to focus only on the difficult and often tortuous things that happen, or I can choose to also remember the beautiful things that happened, and the blessings I have.
- I understand PMDD much better and am able to recognize what is happening – and I have an incredibly supportive husband through it all.
- Through miracles and medicine, my little guy is thriving again.
- Ireland may feel like it didn’t actually happen, but my experience during our whirlwind visit to Powerscourt Estate truly was dreamlike. I wept at the beauty I was blessed to experience for a second time in my life, and even though our world was about to turn upside-down, I felt so much peace while we were there.
- Most of our financial strain isn’t due to hardship – it is due to choices we are able to make about how to raise our family because of all the Lord has blessed us with.
- Marital struggles can be harrowing, but we’ve both been able to cry out to God in our frustration and our hurt and remember that He is for us and our marriage. He saw us through misunderstanding each other, and has renewed and strengthened our bond.
As a follower of Jesus, the Holy Spirit helps me to remind myself of what He tells us in the Bible. In John chapter 16, Jesus is teaching His disciples and preparing them for how they will be received by the world – that they will have suffering, but that they can have courage because He has overcome the world. Our world was broken by sin long ago, and humanity was cursed to strive and toil until the end of our days. BUT God didn’t leave us without hope. He gave us the miracle of our Savior, Jesus Christ, so that we may be reconciled to Him and one day cast off the striving and toiling that this world requires of us, exchanging them for an eternity of JOY and celebrating the majesty of our good God. We have a better PROMISE than that of suffering in this world. One of my favorite authors, Sally Lloyd-Jones, uses a beautiful simplicity to tell The Story of God’s Love for You:
God loved his children too much to let the story end there. Even though he knew he would suffer, God had a plan – a magnificent dream. One day, he would get his children back. One day, he would make the world their perfect home again. And one day, he would wipe away every tear from their eyes.
You see, no matter what, in spite of everything, God would love his children – with a Never Stopping, Never Giving Up, Unbreaking, Always and Forever Love.
And though they would forget him and run from him, deep in their hearts, God’s children would miss him always, and long for him – lost children yearning for their home.
Before they left the garden, God whispered a promise to Adam and Eve: “It will not always be so! I will come to rescue you! And when I do, I’m going to do battle against the snake. I’ll get rid of the sin and the dark and the sadness you let in here. I’m coming back for you!”
And he would. One day, God himself would come.
And this close to Christmas, I would be remiss if I did not remind you (and myself) that this is exactly what He did…God himself came, Emmanuel, “God with us,” not with fanfare and loud declaration, but quiet and humble as a newborn baby.
Mountains would have bowed down. Seas would have roared. Trees would have clapped their hands. But the earth held its breath. As silent as snow falling, he came in.
And when no one was looking , in the darkness, he came…
And there, in the stable, amongst the chickens and the donkeys and the cows, in the quiet of the night, God gave the world his wonderful gift. The baby that would change the world was born. His baby Son…
Mary and Joseph named him Jesus, “Emmanuel” – which means “God has come to live with us.”
Because, of course, he had.
– Sally Lloyd-Jones, “The Story of God’s Love for You”
If you’ve learned anything about me yet, you’ve probably noticed that I love the art of weaving words into beautiful images. I want to share two of my favorite musical artists that tell this story in a way that makes my heart and spirit swell with joy and gratitude:
Spicy Soul Survival 