BEST BIRTHDAY EVER
I turned 40 in January. It still feels weird to say that. 40 kinda hits different. If you’ve been there, maybe you know what I mean. I think maybe it’s because you start realizing you’re probably about half-way through your life (or getting close). Maybe you realize you might have to stop thinking of yourself as “young.” When I turned 30, I was glad. It felt like I was finally an adult. Most of my 20’s were spent getting married and having babies, but somehow I mostly didn’t think of myself as an adult yet. In my 30’s, I was ready for maturity, ready for wisdom, not ready for the exhaustion of having MORE babies and figuring out I’ll be almost SIXTY by the time my youngest hits 18. 😳😅 I also wasn’t ready for all of the mental health issues I would struggle through. My 30’s were good and full, but I am glad to be looking at them in my rearview mirror.
I don’t know if it has anything to do with my age or just everything I had to go through, but I’m actually glad to be past that part of my life. My youngest kiddo is 3, and while he can be quite the terrible terror some days (because he loves to climb and destroy and be a dinosaur and a “bad guy”🤦🏻♀️😅), he’s adorably sweet and loves to ‘nuggle. I’ll take it. We decided to enroll the kiddos in a hybrid school this year, and it has created some space for me to take better care of myself. I’m exercising regularly – I am actually teaching REFIT classes again, which I am so excited about! I’m even dreaming and planning to open my own place! I’m working on de-cluttering our house – and let me tell you, 15 years of having and raising babies – and only being about half-way through it, we have accumulated a LOT of clutter! I just didn’t have the mental capacity to stay on top of everything for all of that time. I’m still not sure I’ll be able to get on top of it all, but I’m trying. I’m feeling really good about 40 so far, and in a way, it all started with planning a really fun party!
I wanted to throw a big party for my 40th because I felt like it was a significant milestone AND because I just really wanted to have a party and dance with all of my friends. Life is so busy, and we barely see our friends. I thought it would be good for everyone, not just me. So, I did it. I planned a BIG party. I invited everyone I could think of that might want to hang out with me, and I was overwhelmed (both good and scary) by receiving over 200 RSVP’s! 😱 I was honored that so many people WANTED to come celebrate with me, and I was freaking out a little bit that we might have more than the venue could handle. At the end of the day, it all culminated in the BEST BIRTHDAY PARTY EVER, and we all had loads of fun. I felt like a 5 year old parading around in my poofy tutu skirt and sparkly shoes, but I decided not to care. I wanted to be sparkly, and I wanted to dance and eat good food. So, we did, and it was my favorite night ever!
Another thing 40 has brought me – and again, I’m not sure if it has anything to do with age or just the place I’ve reached mentally this year – I’m starting to figure out who I am. I’m also starting to bravely BE who I am without feeling like I need to hide her. When I was younger, before I had tucked her away, a lot of people couldn’t handle how big and silly and weird she could be. I could feel the sideways looks from my peers or how they would squirm uncomfortably when my personality was more than they could handle. Unfortunately, that all happened at a pretty young age. It also had a lot to do with surviving a narcissist, but I don’t really care to dig into that today. So, I’d only let her out when I was REALLY comfortable, like with my sister or my mom or my best friend. Well, I’m 40, and it’s time to see who this ol’ girl really is on the inside and let her out to sparkle. Here are some things I already know:
- I’ll be your “ride or die” because I care big about you, and I want to cheer you on and help your dreams come true!
- I will probably always have too many pets, again because I care big, I’m a sucker for sweet, soft, fluffy animals, and I can’t bear to think that something awful will happen to them if I don’t help them.
- I LOVE to dance, I LOVE to sing, and I LOVE to act. Who knew that shy little thing in the corner would actually love being on stage – but it’s not really because I crave attention, it’s because I love to wear fun costumes, I love to sing and be silly, and I love to make people smile and feel joy.
- I want to create a place for others to find themselves the way I’ve been doing – to truly become more healthy, find joy, find rest, and be full of LIFE! I’m pouring all of my entrepreneurial spirit into this dream, and I can’t wait to tell everyone about it!
That’s what I’ve got so far. I know there’s more, but those are the main things on my mind today. Here’s to the beginning of the best decade so far! 🥂🎉
Spicy Soul Survival 