and the cardigan
I really don’t like speaking in front of people. It is so awkward. I always end up saying twice as much as I feel like I should, and not saying what I wanted to say. I make weird jokes that nobody laughs at, and I usually end up picking on someone, trying to be funny, but it just comes across as insulting or offensive. 😅 I REALLY don’t like speaking in front of people, BUT…
I love acting! Go figure. I think it might be the fact that I don’t have to guess about what to say (except when I can’t remember my lines). And you probably would never know it unless you’re a part of my community theater or you’ve seen a show because I’m a pretty reserved person. I’m still learning how to come out of my shell. All of that trauma from saying the wrong thing and getting awkward stares is holding on tight, but it is really fun pretending to be a character in a story! Recently, I had the honor of a role in a small murder mystery from Agatha Christie, called The Mousetrap. It was my first role with a lot of lines, and I was nervous that with my memory issues 🧠, I’d struggle to recall my lines. I think it was actually really good for my brain, and I managed to remember my lines just as well as any of the other cast members. I even learned that I can sort of cry on demand…that was…fun? 🙃
I played the role of Miss Casewell, a crass, “manly” woman who needed to make sure everyone knew how tough she was, inside and out. It was set in the mid 1900’s (which actually wasn’t that long ago, but when you say it like that – whew do I feel ancient! I was born in the late 1900’s!). While costume shopping in my grandmother’s closet, I found a cardigan vest with big pockets that my great-grandmother wore all the time. It was perfect, and I felt close to her again getting to wear that sweater for a few weeks. As for the rest of my costume – my husband asked me to burn it 🔥 after the show. 😆 Let’s just say I usually have to show restraint when building a costume. I am a sort of a mimic, so I go all out. I think I nailed the “manly” woman look a little too well. LOL
I want to ask my fellow actors – since I’m rather new at this – do your characters live on in your mind long after a show has wrapped? Because Miss Casewell is still floating around in there. She pops out every now and again. Maybe it’s because I already had a tendency to randomly say things with a British accent, but there have been a few times now, including today, that I can hear her saying the thing I’m thinking (and one time I even said it out loud, and laughed, “Oh wow, that was Miss Casewell right there!”). Maybe she was always there, though. I mean, I created this version of her. Maybe that part of me that randomly blurts things out in a British accent was Miss Casewell all along – now, she just has a name. 😱🤯
Spicy Soul Survival 