maybe i’ll write a blog
It’s 10:58 PM on a Wednesday, and I am eating a piece of pizza that I put in the microwave a little over an hour ago – aaaand completely forgot about it.🫠 I literally got out of bed to come eat this piece of pizza and type out what might be my first blog post (I haven’t decided whether or not I’m actually going to start a blog – more on this in the next paragraph). Hubs was lamenting about having eaten a whole pizza for dinner (something he does often), and I burst into slightly maniacal laughter and said, “Ugh! My brain!” If you don’t know me yet, hi👋, I’m Tiana, and my brain is kinda like that sweet adorable three-year-old in the videos you see where they are trying so hard to do something for themselves (pour some juice, make breakfast, or get dressed) – you just have to laugh a little and say, “Oh, honey…” Also, I like to use commas, and parenthetical interjections, and emojis (my latest go-to is 🫠), – oh, and these -. You’ll see what I mean after a while.
If you know me well, you might know that I am a perpetual project-starter. I’m about 30% on the finishing…maybe 20% on the finishing on-time (I’m the sheepish queen of belated gifts). If that has ever been a source of frustration for you, I am sorry. I’ve been trying to do better for over a decade now, to no avail. I think Hubs knew this before I did. Bless him.
If this actually does become a blog post, I figure I should tell you what my blog is going to be about. I imagine I should tell you what I know, which is a little bit about a lot of little things – I’m a wife, mother, home educator, mentor, friend, and the list goes on. I’m an artist that doesn’t usually realize she’s an artist. I would probably say I’m a creative. I dabble (remember that whole perpetual project-starter thing?) – which is to say, I deep dive into a new craft or art genre, buy a bunch of supplies, start a few projects, MAYBE finish one or two of them, and then get burned out or frustrated that I can’t do it as well as I want to (or as often or for as long as I want to). I’ll spend some time being depressed about the unfinished projects (sometimes for years), and then move on when another interesting project idea comes along.
So, recently I’ve realized through some research that I might actually be considered to be “on the spectrum” or whatever the current appropriate way of saying it is. I’m not sure what to do about that, but it does answer a LOT of things I’ve wondered about how and why I do things. I’ve heard the term “neuro-spicy,” and I think I really resonate with that. Maybe it’s because I’ve spent the past few years answering to the nickname, “Spicy,” while playing Minecraft (My IGN is SpicyCashew), or maybe it’s because I think of “spicy” as being unique, interesting, and unpredictable (and potentially off-putting and offensive, depending on the situation) 🙃. At any rate, I can be pretty spicy – I blame most of it on my brain. I plan to tell you more about that later, too.
Now that I have stayed up WAY later than I intended, I should wrap this up. If you have followed my winding stream of consciousness and want to read more, stay tuned. I might hit that 20% sweet spot and get another post up soon. 😅
P.S. The pizza was still slightly warm and decently satisfying – just in case you were wondering.
P.P.S. After thinking about this for a few days and wondering if I did start a blog, what WOULD it be about – I think I’ve decided it’s going to be about everything. Everything I’m thinking about, anyway. I’ve been through a lot – especially in the area of mental health, marriage, and motherhood. If I had to say it in a “catch phrase,” I think it would be about being okay with not being okay. If you’re here, and you need to hear that it’s OKAY to not be okay, this is a good place to be!
Spicy Soul Survival 